How to Write Naruto Fanfiction
by nanonymous
Summary: This fanfiction is not to be taken seriously.


How to Write Naruto Fanfiction  
  
Have you ever read a Naruto fanfiction? Have you ever wanted to write one? If you have, then you're in luck! We have looked at hundreds of fanfictions and have compiled the most often used tactics in Naruto fanfic writing! Now, these tactics are here for your educational purposes!  
  
Naruto Fanfiction Writing Tip #1  
  
Turn the characters into walking stereotypes.  
  
Is Naruto too complex for you? Then turn him into a daft blond who's always cheerful. Saasuke's emotional demons too complicated? Then reduce him to a jerk with a superiority complex. And Sakura? Why, she's a ditz, obviously. With this tactic, you don't have to show how deep the characters are... and better yet, reviewers will still think you're being in character! Now, isn't that an amazing tip?  
  
Naruto Fanfiction Writing Tip #2  
  
Be as pretentious as possible.  
  
First, start by writing a pretentious introduction. "I wrote this fanfiction for the enjoyment of all my fans in the community, and as an example that mediocre fanfiction authors can strive to emulate." Then, write an equally pretentious summary that doesn't actually say anything about your story. "He stood at a precipice in his life, a time when a choice must be made... but what if it wasn't the right one?" And, of course, write a completely pretentious story. How do you do this, you ask? Sadly, this is an art that can not be taught in a simple tutorial, and must be mastered on your own. People who do this well are often born with the ability. Here's a humble hint though: to seem pretentious, try to use big words and flowing sentences that don't actually add anything to the story. No, they're just there for decoration. It doesn't hurt to take yourself seriously either. This isn't just a fanfiction to you... no, you're writing to change the world!  
  
Naruto Fanfiction Writing Tip #3  
  
Don't write a coherent story at all.  
  
Why write a whole story when you can just write lines of dialog?  
  
Naruto: Hey Saasuke!  
  
Saasuke: Shut up, Dobe.  
  
Sakura: Do you two have to fight all the time?  
  
And so on, and so on... some people may argue that this isn't really fanfiction at all. But you know, this method doesn't require any real writing ability... and so we think it is an absolutely ingenious method of fanfic writing!  
  
Naruto Fanfiction Writing Tip #4  
  
Create a super powerful original character.  
  
Do you want to create an original character but just don't know how to make him or her seem realistic and human? Well, why should you have to? Make her super powerful! More powerful then most of the ninjas in the actual anime! Throw in some cliched emotional baggage and you'll have fans eating out of your hand!  
  
Naruto Fanfiction Tip #5  
  
Romance, romance, romance.  
  
Every one loves romance. And since romance is only hinted at in the action-packed Naruto series, it's only natural that fanfiction writers will take up the slack. But why write a realistic romance when you can have an ultra sappy, super cheesy romance scene that would never, ever occur in the Naruto universe? And what if you don't like any of the canon Naruto pairings? That's okay, just make up your own. Put Neji together with Shino. Never mind the fact that they never technically met and barely know each other. Put the fourth Hokage together with Temari. Never mind that the fourth Hokage is dead... just bring him back to life! Still not risqué enough? You'll be sure to please all the pedophiles out there by pairing a repubescent teen with an adult. Kakashi and Saasuke anyone? Michael Jackson would just love it.  
  
And remember to criticize other authors' work! As often as you can! Nitpick at every single detail if possible! Does the author say that the characters are twelve, even though they are now thirteen? Write them a scathing and rude review pointing it out! Do authors characterize Naruto in a way that doesn't exactly fit with your personal opinion of how Naruto should act? Then they're obviously wrong... flame them to tell them so! After all, we all need some constructive criticism...  
  
Next, we'll put all these tips together, to bring you the Super Ultra Penultimate Naruto Fanfiction (tm). 


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